this is art
I’M IN TEARS OH MY GOD
oHMYGOD THIS POOR GUY IS GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK but I cant stop laAUGHING AGh
"push! PUSH!" the nurse screams in the delivery room. i can’t believe i’m going to lose a push-up contest in front of my newborn son
"I did my homework right away so I didn’t have to wait till the last minute like you.."
there are millions of starving kids in africa and miley cyrus has 15 chapstick egg things
did you seriously take the time to count exactly how many chapstick eggs she had before making this post?
counting isn’t actually as difficult and time-consuming as you would imagine
Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.
walk a mile in these louboutins